The Bones are More Important than the Paint
image by Margaret Jacobsen
Have you ever seen a house built from beginning to end? When done right, that house can stand the test of time, mother nature, and more. Have you ever seen a house built on a cracked foundation? The effects of its shoddy craftsmanship ripple through the house, showing up as cracks in walls, and uneven flooring. No amount of spackle or paint will hide that weak foundation for long, eventually, the cracks will return and the floor will continue to shift beneath your feet. What does that have to do with you and your partner?
Well, as Maren Morris puts it, "when the bones are good the rest don't matter". Meaning, if you build your relationship right, the world around you can do its worst and the house you've built will stand strong.
If building a strong marriage is more important than planning an epic wedding, let's talk, we may just be a perfect fit.
The commitment to doing life with someone else is the biggest commitment you can make. It's a commitment to grow and change alongside someone else and building that life starts with a good foundation. That should take priority over the perfect wedding, I even believe it should be a higher priority than children (but that's a different blog post).
The ring, flowers, dress, and wedding are just the paint on what should be some exceptionally built bones. They are the decorative pieces that adorn your beautiful relationship and they shouldn't be on the table to discuss until you've built a solid beginning.
You will have years of trials, their family, your family, children, sex, frustrations, dissatisfaction, etc. You will face hard challenges, no really, let me say it for the people in the back, YOU WILL FACE HARD CHALLENGES. There's no way around that and that's ok, nothing worth having is ever easy.
Prioritize the bones. "The house don't fall when the bones are good".
How's it going?
I am a born and raised Oregon artist, photographer, and moment junkie. Most days you can find me in a tattered eighties sweater and jeans, cold coffee in hand, chasing my kids.